unknowwwn
by Vannah-chan
Summary: This is what i get for wanting freedom. lumpy pillows and cardboard beds. oh and did i mention i'm going crazier every passing second? do not own naruto. read please, and review. anddd...ily, xD
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

here goes another attempt at fanfiction by yours truly, this is rated M mostly for sensitive material and violence, this may change later but I will give further warnings if and when the time comes

disclaimer: shit kicker boots? Check. Cell phone? Check. Naruto series and merchandise , nope. I don't own numb nuts. This will probably be the only disclaimer so ,deal.

It wasn't easy, and that was an understatement. But that's not why I did it. I can deal with tough shit when it comes my way. I always have, Being born into an elite family as a defect, I dealt with it just fine. In a world full of arrogant self assured, borderline conceited cocky brutes, I was a stuttering blushing mess. I cant be sure if I still am. What I did, it may have changed that. I could be completely different now. My thought process has changed dramatically. Speaking of thoughts, I haven't heard from my better half for a while.

I'm guessing you are wondering what I'm talking about, and most importantly who the hell I am.

Well, a wise man never wears a nametag. And I don't usually give my name, partly because I'm ashamed, but also because…names open hearts. But hell, I'm already fucked beyond human comprehension so why not seal the deal.

My name is Hinata Shirayuki Hyuuga

That's right; I'm the heiress to the prestigious Hyuuga clan. Isn't it beautiful?

I'm 15 years of age; whether old or young truly depends on your personal perception.

And my 'better half' is one of my many personal burdens.

Asari my mental disability, my best friend, the voice in my head.

"Hinata Hyuuga?" ugh, fucking nurses interrupting me. Yes that's right, I'm at a hospital, and I suppose since I basically told you I am a nut bar your not at all surprised. But I'm not in a mental hospital, well not yet.

I stare up at the nurse with a look that I imagine says something along the lines of 'who else dumbass?'

"we have a psychiatrist here to asses you" she opened the door further and a short balding man with stubby fingers, -I hate stubby fingers- and chest hair protruding from is ostentatious burgundy floral shirt –I also hate chest hair, and those tacky shirts.- entered the room.

He pulled up a chair in front of me and in a heavy Egyptian accent introduced himself .

"hello miss hinata, I am doctor ramun." He held out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at him then back at his face with an eye brow quirked.

"okay then, down to business I see. So tell me, why did you start doing this and when?" He gestured to me.

This is the part I am forced to tell you exactly what I did so you wont be lost.

Well, for starters, I locked myself inside the bathroom. I took an industrial razorblade and cut myself all over my body, save for my face, with as much aggression my body could muster.

Then, while I was soaked in my own blood, I proceeded to take a prescription bottle of anti-psychotics I had found in Anko-sensei's purse, I swallowed as many that were in the bottle, it was a lot because it took me a few minutes till I finally got them down.

Then, I got dizzy, and fall down go boom.

I guess my sister Hanabi found me by picking the lock with a pen, and called 911. they said I was out for a good two weeks before I was brought back into the world that is here.

I sighed deeply before I began to talk.

"I felt like it." I then had to stop myself from smirking at his dumfounded expression.

"lets try to be honest and open so I can help you yes?" ugh, his accent was annoying.

I sighed exasperated.

"I hear voices, well one voice, I'm depressed. My dad beats me. I've been contemplating suicide for the last three years. It seemed like an okay time. My mind is fading, and lines are blurring. That's all you get."

He nodded, did he even know what I just said. Idiot.

It was an hour later when they had me strapped into a wheelchair bringing me to the psyche ward. The baka Egyptian yutz, decided I needed "close observations" and that I was a "Severe suicide risk" how he got that much I don't know. I hardly told him shit. I could have gone on, and on, and on.

Once I arrived at the stupid place where I would be taking residence in for who knows how long, I decided to take in my surroundings. The walls, white.

The furniture, didn't match. And the people, there was none.

Appearently my question could be read on my face.

"every one is either in group or outside."

I nodded in understanding and looked up at the nurse expectantly. She stared back at me through stupid dull brown eyes.

"where. Is. My. Room?" my patients, were wearing non existent.

"oh right this way miss hyuuga!" she ushered my down a hall to a room numbered "333" hmm… 3 my favorite number…

"now your stuff has already been gone through so that everything that your sister and cousin brought for you was deemed safe. You can stay in your room for a while and get used to everything or come out, the rest of the patients should be back within a few moments. Oh and if you need something don't be afraid to ask shizune, she's the nurse on duty."

And she went on and on. I nodded obediently until she left where I promptly gracelessly plopped onto the hard cardboard feeling bed. This was going to be hell.

Was there something wrong with that nurses head? Why would I care when the nuts would be back? Why would I want to spend time with a bunch of… people that were probably just like me…

I groaned loudly tugging at my short hair as I fell onto my back.

I decided then that I should take a nap, even if I spent the last two weeks asleep.

I crawled under the stiff blankets and attempted to fluff the lumpy pillow. I sighed in defeat when I realized the closest I would get to comfortable would be if I zoned.

I called it zoning, or my zombie/ghost state. When that happens, I feel like a ghost, sitting in my body as it goes through motions and says things, while I'm completely unaware whats happening. I just see my hands deftly moving, I can hear my voice, but its like I'm not the one making my vocal cords vibrate with air.

Infact, I don't even realize if I stop breathing.

Then there's when I have those fucked up anxiety attacks. The wonderful thing about having more than one mind, you can be thinking about something and not even realize your thinking about it, and that thought can send me falling to the floor, writhing squirming like a worm, gasping for air and clawing at everything, including my own skin.

At times like those, its like times seizes to exist, its just a mere word, like everything else, Meaning nothing unless you decide to put meaning into it.

I sat up and pulled a sweater out of the trunk on the floor, it was deep purple with lavender lilies on it and white roses. I folded the sweater and placed it on top of the god forsaken pillow. It was a slight upgrade. I let my eyes flutter shut and welcomed unconsciousness with open arms.

I woke up what I assumed to be at night, although I had no way of telling just what time it really was. The only way I knew it was night was because looking outside of my caged in window, -wow the patients must really hate it here- I noticed the moon was up and the sky that stunning shade of midnight blue. Usually I would take the time to admire this setting, but as it was, my throat was dry and I recalled seeing a water dispenser at the end of the hall.

Groggily I opened my door, the lights were dim but still enough to hurt my un adjusted eyes, so I closed them and felt my way along the hallway with my fingers.

I was about to turn the corner ran I ran into something hard. I opened my eys and gasped.

I was met with a cold glare of teal, no that wrong, there was no way to describe, no colour that could possibly get the right shade of these eyes. They were surrounded by a purple black, like they had been bruised. However I know from experience that the more likely cause was insomnia.

"gomen." It was half assed. But I _felt_ half assed.

"hn." Wow, he was talkative. But against my better judgment I decided to strike up conversation, I might aswell get used to the people in here, I think I'd be spending a lot of time here.

"is there like…a curfew here? For being in your room and what not?" he looked at me like I was stupid.

"yes." He took a step back seeing as we were still standing far too close. This was botha bonus, and a downfall. He was gorgeous. His hair was a brilliant scarlet hue that reminded me of the colour of my blood when it stained everything in my bathroom. And his voice, it was deep. It was…unexplainable.

"then why are you up?" I quirked my eye brow, challenging him, if he's a guy, no guy can resist a challenge, its pheromones…or something.

He quirked an eye brow aswell, wait. No, he didn't have eyebrows. Strange.

"because I can."

I scoffed. That was…stupid well, did I actually expect anyone with an I.Q high enough to graduate high school in this place?

"so…you don't sleep? Neither do I, not usually. I'm –no never mind names are unimportant, I'm new."

"I can tell."

I nodded; I was running out of things to say. He turned and walked sitting on one of the black horribly outdated well worn arm chairs this dingy room had to offer. And I accompanied him sitting on a chair opposite his. It was comfier than my bed. Sad.

"Why are you sitting there?" the way he said it made it sound like it wasn't a question, like this chair was condemned and I was the idiot who sat in it.

"Because I can" I mocked his earlier choice of words.

"That's not a reason."

"It worked for you."

"Maybe I just didn't want to talk to you." That was harsh. And it did its job it shut me up, for a few minutes.  
"Where are you from?"

"With Charlie the fucking unicorn would you leave me alone!?" his voice raised an octave, and if I had any sense of self preservation, I would shut the fuck up and do as he said. Sadly, I don't.

"hmm, no sadly; I have nothing better to do. And I need something to bide my time until I slip."

He raised one of his should be there but isn't eyebrows, and it was bugging me, I decided to ask him about that, later.

"slip?" he asked, his voice not giving any sense of curiousity- or any other emotion really.

"yeah, I go into a state where I'm here, but not. Its like I'm not in control of my body. I can to everything mandatory of me but I cant remember doing it. It makes time pass with less of a hassle. I call it being a ghost." I explained with a voice just as void of emotion as his own, oh Neji would be proud. Neji is my cousin by the way, but more about him later.

"intresting." Funny, he didn't sound the least bit interested.

"however that hardly sounds like a reason for you to be here."

"its not" I let a small smirk play on my lips before I stretched and stood, walked to the water dispencer, filled a paper cup and made my way back to bed. Hopefully they had the decency to bring me a few good books. If not, I'm sure hanabi will visit soon enough.

Okay, first chapter, its short, but this is based some what on my life so some of it is hard to write, both emotionally, and in a way where I would have to turn this into something readable…if I can manage.

So… tell me what you think because I am a review-sensitive authoress.

I need reviews to write.

I'll get started on the next chapter tomorrow, and I'll post after lets say about 5 reviews?

Oh, flames, they make me laugh. So go ahead and send.

[ if someone tells me I don't know what a hospital is like I spent a month in own so you can eat me =)]


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 as promised after five reviews. Oh, for you bastards who will favorite and not review… Don't expect updates. Seriously, I'm not asking you to run a marathon under the pacific ocean, have decency!

Okay here goes nothing, at all. Ever.

Chapter 2 fuckers

I was right, They had brought me books. Books were the one object I had an abundance of back at the compound. My bookshelf was the most organized place in my room. I had manga, Books, magazines [shonen jump and shojo beat…] then there was my video games DVD's CD's and anime.

I went through the largest of the trunks I know only Hanabi or Neji would bring me. I bet they paid the hospital staff off. I'm sure I had far more things than were allowed in this hell hole.

I went through my books taking out a few I was interested in re reading.

Sense and sensibility

The body spoken

Isabel and rocco

The complete works of edgar allen poe

The sinner

Blink.

Atonement

And that was all I was interested in re reading. Though the chest on the floor was full of good reads, I wanted something that makes you question human psychology.

Because hey, was it so weird for me to wonder how other people thought? To compare it too my own thought process wondering if people thought about the same things, in the same way I do? Okay, so maybe it is. But I still wonder.

"Mother FUCKER I'll FUCKING SACRAFICE every single one of you!"

I looked up placing my books down and walking to the door opening it a crack. Through the small opening I had created I saw a few nurses flustering around a pale silver haired male, who seemed to be fighting them off. I figured he was the one voicing his violence.

Curious I walked out to see more of what was happening. One nurse ran to her station picking up a phone, probably calling security, while another had a small paper cup, like the ones used for ketchup at mcdonalds knocked out of her hands, small pills falling to the ground and scattering in all directions. Fuck that was a lot of pills. He must be F-U-C-K-E-D.

He looked my way and glared

"Who the fuck are you?" he pulled away from the nurses and walked toward me with an even stride, increasing rapidly as he neared.

"I asked you a fucking question whore!" Okay, now that was uncalled for. I met his stride and when I was close enough to his face to kiss him, I pulled my arm back and punched him as hard as I could in the face.

He seemed stunned, sure I was probably sickly pale skin and bones, But I knew I could throw a punch.

Kiba had taught me a long time ago when we were in grade school and I was being bullied.

One day after school a bunch of older students had cornered me at the park and decided to fight me… well, hit me kick me and leave nasty blotchy bruises all over my body. When I got to school the next day kiba saw me. He was upset. That's when he taught me how to fight. We stayed after school, I claimed to my father that I was doing extra credit at school so I passed with better marks, saying it would look good in high school and then eventually in college or university.

After our 'lesson' we would walk back to his house and his sister hanna Would give us cookie's and we would play with his dog akamaru, and the rest of his families friendly canines.

Kiba Inuzuka, he was my best friend. Still is. I wonder if Neji-niisan told him I was hear yet. I doubt it. He would be here in an instant wraping me into one of his bone crushing bear hugs I've learned to love so much.

Looking down at the man I had just hit, he looked furious. He straightend his back and lifted his fist, I ducked out behind him just as security gaurds came into the ward pulling his arms behind his back as a nurse plunged a needle into him.

'Fighting back now are we? Actually I suppose you're the one who started this one…'

'He started, he called me a whore. Welcome back Asari where have you been?'

'Asleep I suppose.'

'you suppose?'

'Hai'

I sighed in comfort. How I could be comforted by the fact that the voice in my head was back I do not know. But I was. I wasn't alone anymore. I could survive with only one friend, although I would surely miss Kiba.

I walked through the small hallway that led to the sitting area, I was hungry, though I doubted I could keep anything down. I walked towards the nurses station, just my luck She was on the phone. She lifted a finger and smiled at me. I sat in the chair by myself one of the unsightly ones that didn't match the rest. It was a disgusting faded yellow that reminded me of urine, inhaling through my nose I was lead to wonder if this said chair was in fact at one point white, until someone proceeded to piss on it.

'this isn't a five star dearie, I wouldn't doubt it.'

That thought made me cringe and lift myself from the chair. To my good fortune the nurse on the phone was done talking.

"I'm hungry" a simple direct statement. So how the fuck did she have such a bewildered expression painted across her far too done up face. Seriously, she looked like that lady of the drew carrey show… mimi or whatever her name was.

I glared at her with all my entire crippling Hyuuga defect mite.

"f-o-o-d" I drowned out the syllables slowly.

She just shook her head and pointed down the hall.

"everyone is in there now, it's the dining hall. Your just in time for breakfast."

Just my fucking luck, I get too see people. Wonderful

Incase you didn't know, the previous statement was filled with a venomous amount of sarcasm.

I began my way down the hall that was filled was soon filled with chatter as I neared the 'dining hall' now why did I have a funny feeling that that was just a fancy way of saying 'room to eat goop and shit cramped with smelly retards who cant bathe by themselves.'

Well, when I entered the room I only saw one person who looked incapable of cleaning himself. He had black spiky hair. He was smiling erratically and rocking he also appeared to be mumbling.

I sighed and walked into the room, pulling my hood over my head to hide my face. Unfortunately, my actions were in vain because I was still spotted by a rather loud obnoxious blonde.

"Who are you un!?" Altho he did have a lovely voice, and was clearly attractive. I forced myself to remember where I was. I was in a hospital. For the mentally insane, this brought me to the thought of what the hell I was doing a few hours ago with the nameless red head.

I looked up at him with a cold glare.  
"Hn"

"That's not a name un." Wow, five points for the obvious. I rolled my eyes, that's the only reply he is getting. I do not in anyway plan on getting friendly with the natives or neighbors.

I walked to the line and looked over my options of food. Hashbrowns that looked so greasy I wondered if they were cooked at mcdonalds, eggs that were far to yellow to be healthy, and sausages that looked like alien fingers after being run over my a combine.

Oh yumm.

Wait! There was a safe choice! Oh mercy! Sweet sweet mercy! Thank kami! Oh the rain came to the drout! Thy savior has been born! The world has been blessed! The people have been saved!

There is…Toast. And little packets of peanut butter and jelly  I was Happy!

No one can fuck up toast… well I guess you could… but this looked fairly safe.

There were none of those stero typical cafeteria ladies around so I decided to just reach over the glass And grab a single slice and a few packets of PB&J 'ohhh yeah!' I mentally cheered for my courageousness for it, was exquisite.

I walked to the door until I saw a bright yellow paper sign with bold black writing "no food past this point."

"Oh fuck" shit, did I say that out loud?

'yes, yes you did.' I groaned. Great.

I sat at an end of a table near the window that was pretty much empty. Well, the half I sat in anyways. It was a fairly full 'dining hall' it felt more like a small high school cafeteria than that of a hospitals.

I say and picked small crumbs off my slice of toast placing them delicately Onto my tongue, sighing deeply.

I looked up when I heard a chair scrape across the floor infront of me, and I was greeted by azure blue eyes.

"Don't sit alone Un, its not becoming of you yeah!"

I rolled my eyes sarcastically; I'm in a fucking hospital I haven't brushed my hair in…forever; I very much doubted that anything would be becoming of me at this point.

"It's less unnerving."

I kept my eyes down and my voice low; hoping somewhat that he would leave… I wasn't exactly craving attention right now.

"oh… well Mind if I sit here un?"

I simply shook my head no, I wasn't very hungry so I didn't plan on staying.

"I'm going now anyways"

And with that I slid my chair from under me and slid out of the room; with the blonde haired blue eyed feminine male gawking at me.

I retreated back to my room; drew the blinds shut and closed the door tightly; darkening the room and retreating to a corner.

I kneeled infront of my bags; searching for my ipod until I found it and plugged it into my ears turning on theme of tears.

I walked slowly to a corner, sitting carefully on the cold tile floor, leaning down further until I was lying in the fetal position; preparing to loose myself how I so often do.

' Love, somethings different.'

I looked around the corridor in my head, and Asari was right… there was a new door; Painted black as coals; like Uchiha sasuke's eyes. It almost made me snicker that I would ever compare something to him, let alone something in my mind.

'What… is that' My inner voice filled with incredulity

'no idea… It wont open either'

As if testing her theory I walked slowly to the door one arm outstretched; wrapping my hand around the doorknob and attempted to twist it. It wouldn't budge; I applied more pressure but was left with the same result.

I was slightly unnerved but I shrugged it off and walked over to asari, resting my head on her shoulder my body shaking, trembling, I could feel it coming, that horribly familiar beast, the beast that resided in the darkest corners of my mind that would come out and massacre me when ever it felt the need to amuse itself.

Yes; that horrible hideous creature was bored; and was demanding its amusement as it clawed and my insides; spitting acid on me and tearing apart my nerves.

Asari wrapped her arms around me, picked me up and carried me to the bed located down another corridor. She placed me down like I was porcelain knowing in all of her wisdom that the more jostling movement the more pain I would have to endure. As she lifted away and walked to the other side of the bed her long black hair tickled my cheeks.

I felt my lungs clench, a cold sweat breaking across my forehead as my breathing became laboured, gasping breathes, I was clutching at the oxygen as that creature robbed me of the infinite resource. I felt myself shudder violently and whimper as my arms instinctively wrapped around my stomach as I writhed, my whimpers turning into shrill screams at the sheer intensity of the pain.

A/N

CLIFFY!

Okay; so I'm sorry it took me so long to update, however I need help with a decision…

I'm not sure who I want hina with…

You can offer any one; I mean anyone; And then I'll decide.

I doubt I'll do naruto though…

=\

But yes; give me idea's.

Anyways as for my excuse for taking so long ; my comp crashed.


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